Saturday, June 26, 2010 9:06 PM
Up to now, I am still thinking.. Thinking of the happy moments, thinking of why must he leave.. He's someone that can really understands me, know what I really want, and knows how to handle me. He may not be a good one to others but, those lil things he done only I can see it.. I didn't know why I will love him so much, I have been trying to make myself happy, but deep down in my heart, there's something missing, that's him.. He got his ways to make me happy.. Of cos he made me really upset since that day.. Why I don't hate him or anything? Cos all e happy moments have covered it. We are always having e same reactions, when I showed one expression, he knew what I meant.. He knew what I am thinking most of e time.. He will always give me advices when I'm troubled.. He's someone I really click very well with. I can be myself only when I'm with him.. Cos he accept all stupid nonsenses I've said and done. He laugh at my stupid and crazy actions, he do funny actions to make me laugh when I'm upset. With him around, it brightens my day.. Without him, my days are dark.. I din know what am I suppose to do everyday. I worked, go out, home, and this is my everyday routine. If I really go back hm everyday aft work, I guess I will go crazy. I know he is happier now, feeling really carefree now.. I know I don't bring him enough happiness, e sparks in our rs is no longer there. That's why he no longer looking forward and see anything more in this rs.. I thought I have forgotten him almost completely. But I realise, not at all. Even if I don't find him anymore, I still can't get over him.. He's still somewhere in my mind. Which I told myself nt to think anymore. Writing this post made me breakdown again. I miss him, yes I do. But I always show a strong front to everyone. Including him. I showed him I no longer care, but deep down, I'm feeling really upset.
Alan, u have been great to me. No matter what, I will remember each and every thing that we have gone through. Thanks for giving me a wonderful memories which I will keep it in heart. 我依然没变。
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