Thursday, April 26, 2007 4:19 PM
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.Teacher: Why?Student: There is no future in it.........................................................................................................................................................................Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?Ted: $10.Teacher: You don't know maths.Ted: You don't know my father!.........................................................................................................................................................................Mother: David, come here.David: Yes, mum?Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now...........................................................................................................................................................................Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8Father : So?Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?..........................................................................................................................................................................A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.Daughter: It's mummy!Father: How do you know?Daughter: She didn't say anything..........................................................................................................................................................................Girl: Do you love me?Boy: Yes DearGirl: Would you die for me?Boy: No, mine is undying love..........................................................................................................................................................................Man: How old is your father?Boy: As old as meMan: How can that be?Boy: He became a father only when I was born..........................................................................................................................................................................Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card...........................................................................................................................................................................Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.Did u copy his?Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!..........................................................................................................................................................................Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!Son: That's why I say she's no good!..........................................................................................................................................................................Teacher: "Where were u born?"Student: "Singapore , Sir."Teacher: "Which part?"Student: "All of me, Sir."..........................................................................................................................................................................A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher."'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle."..........................................................................................................................................................................Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."Teacher: "Use your dad's then."Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."..........................................................................................................................................................................A boy came home from school with his exam results."What did u get?" asked his father."My marks are under water," said the boy."What do u mean 'under water'?""They are all below 'C' level" ..........................................................................................................................................................................
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